Me ? Competitive?

Competitive- relating to or characterized by an urge to compete:
I look at that definition and I think, Nope not me. However, here is the thing, as I am going to the gym tonight at 4:30 it's a pretty busy time. usually I am leaving at this time, but today like Tuesday I am watching my grannddaughter until 4:30 I have my gym clothes on and will scoot right out the door.
Tuesday when I was there at this time, I found myself on the middle of three elliptical machine with someone on either side. One of the fellow ellipticalists....( work with me, not sure what to call them ) started at the very same time as I did and the other was working out when I got there. I immediately made a little gym pact with myself, I would not get of the elliptical before the fellow ellipticalists who started with me did, we could call him Mr Buff..... than the girl on my other side, who was there before I got there has her elevation up to 5, she was about my size, and so I thought, if she can, I can,,,,,by the way Mr Buff, lasted 60 minutes as did I.
It did not stop there, I watched another on the treadmill in front of me, using a medicine ball like you see them do on the Biggest Loser, while walking and I thought, I can do that... What is Happening Here?? I think what is happening is, I am finding my inner athlete the one that has been hiding out all these years, and I also think, I like her!!
So now when asked how to describe myself I guess I better add...Competitive,,,,but always in the nicest way!

I can see Onderland!!

I want to start by saying, I had my daughters when I was still young, married at 20 despite my family offering to throw the wedding of a princess if I waited, I jumped right in. By 21 I had my first daughter and 22 my second, by 29 I was a single mom. They are almost 26 and 25. It is amazing to me that I am 47. Where did the time go? AT 47 I am a grandmother.
When they were little and all my friends were still unmarried and at the time to me it looked like living a fun filled carefree lives, I would tell myself that I had my kids young, and was fulfilling the role of the responsible parent and when they were grown, my child rearing days would be all but over and it would be time for me to just play and be carefree. I am still laughing at that thought as once a parent you are always a parent and I would not have it any other way, but I was right about the fact that now my daughters are older and have moved out, I have much more free time to take care of me. Did I? nope not at first, I really just fumbled along, was lost a little, and still heavily involved with their day to day lives.
That changed, and I decided a year ago January that if I wanted to be the best person for myself and be around to enjoy my granddaughter I needed to take as good of care of myself as I did others, the result is as a family we are so active together.
Bringing us to today. After a year and a month, after spending the last decade in the 200's I can see Onderland! The view is wonderful, and I am not out of breath when I climb the hill to look down on it. Onderland is full of trails to be hiked, bicycle routes to ride, and countless people to meet and places to see. If I had to give it a color I would say it is the color of a field of wild flowers, and you can smell them, before you can clearly make out each of the petals. I can hardly wait to get there and really look at all it has to offer. To get there sooner I have upped my time at the gym, tweaked my cooking again, less oil, more measuring and weighing what I eat, I have my Merlot and Dark chocolate for my heart ( smiling) but not on the same day) and when I get discouraged I come here and visit my friends as well as reread where I started and the the end result is I can see Onderland!!

Great Start Feb 22

I am waiting for one of my oldest ( not by age but years we have known each other) and best friends, to arrive and we are headed out for lunch. We have plannns for alocal place and than it dawned on me that I really want a GREAT week and to really ppush myself to get to Onederland ASAP, so when she arrives I will suggest Subway. I love that I can stay right on track there and I feel like Bob or Jillian from the Biggest Loser but hey, they are right!
I went to the gym already and worked out on the elliptical for 60 minutes nonstop and accrued 7 APs! I feel good!!
Yesterday was my day to cook all day and that got thwarted and I instead spent the day with one of my daughters , so when I get home from lunch and and picking up my granddaughter for the night it will be a Sunday that is usually eight hours of cooking and prepping crammed into 4!! One thing I know for sure hough if I do not do the cooking and planning for the week, the week will fall apart. "If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail." that rings so true with me.
Blogging later today will most likely not happen with all the cooking and prepping needing to happen.
Kellie a fellow blogger here had a great post today with questions of us and I liked that and had a few of my own I would love to hear some answers too, so here goes!

How many Ap's do you do I day and a week?

Most weeks do you eat all your extra pro points of the allotted 49?

Do you try to not eat any of your Ap's accrued ?

aha!!!

One of those aha moments happened tonight, I was out we ordered pizza, I ate my alloted two pieces and they tasted sooooo good. I wanted more. I bargained, it is Sunday, the beginning of my week I have 49 weeklies I can have more. I did not and here is why. Sunday night is usually pizza night for DBF and I , next Sunday is coming I will do this again and it will taste just as good. I can wait, I can enjoy the taste, piece number three will not change how the taste it will just make me feel uncomfortably full and guilty as I am not hungry anymore. That simple. When did this happen?
Lost three more pounds this week, and am 5 pounds away from Onderland. I can see it , and it feels great!

Now this is Gonna be Hard

I am a big believer in everything happens for a reason, and my big gain a week or so back really made me think about the processed foods and salt in my diet. I emptied the salt shaker and started dialog with fellow weight watchers about salt. I started reading about it and really have been watching the intake.
Fast forward a week and my friend has a heart attack at age 52 and I am thinking, my cutting back may help me help her, keep fast forwarding and I find myself in a nutritionists office with my older sister whom is struggling with End Stage Liver Disease. She is on a transplant list and it is a waiting game, that has just been stepped up as her Gallbladder is acting up and must come out. For you and I that may be an easy surgery for her it is huge risk. We were in the nutritionist office as she has to limit her,,,guess? ?? Salt! Yes she knows/knew that but with the flaring of the Gallbladder she changed her diet to accommodate the pain and up went the numbers on the scale like a slot machine at a casino, Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing.... she had added a lot of broth and soups...Big NO NO.
The Nutritionist was a wealth of information and we left there armed with ideas and a plan and a tool I want to share with you guys. Calorie King is a site where you can pull up all the nutritional values on just about every food out there. Calories and what I was looking for sodium. It is an amazing tool and as I am learning today I consume a lot of sodium. I decided to log in about week of typical eating and than go from there and today as I finished my lunch here is where I am at!!
Lite soy milk with coffee 100 mg
2 Slices grain Bread 400 mg
Chicken Salad -lite 290 mg
That was my weird breakfast,,,,felt like a sandwich

Salad with Feta, croutons
and Italian dressing 740 mg

So here I sit at 1530 my recommended amount for the day, with supper still in front of me! I am up for the challenge if really getting my sodium intake under control as I really want to lead by example and help both my sister and my friend, so I think you may be hearing a lot about my trials with giving up the salt...".Just say not to salt.."
Think we could find a button for that!!!.

Bottle this

When Spring comes and the weather is warm, but not hot, The Sun is shining brightly, you can hear everything coming alive, animals, birds chirping happily, plants poking through the recently thawed ground, runners are out again, and Mom's with baby carriages, it evokes a feeling. I have said and heard a hundred times, " I wish we could bottle this, and save it for a rainy or cold day." Yesterday would have been the day I opened the bottle and let all the warm happy goodness out!
When I awoke this morning to my cat poking at my face, as she is convinced that the half filled bowl of food is one step closer to starvation and she needs a new scoop at 5:45 am to start her day, I laid in bed thinking of how far I have come. Yesterday's fatigue was gone, I am feeling like I have successfully jumped a hurdle in my lifelong battle with my weight and more specifically , my emotional eating.
Yesterday I was awash with emotions for good reason, the heart attack scare of my friend topped the list, but the list is riddled with triggers, a chronically ills sister who is having a very bad few weeks, elderly mom that I care for whom can run up and down, financial woes that come with unemployment, stress of the new job and career direction, worry of how to juggle all of this and continue to take care of me. These are just a few and we all have our own lists, but what has slowly happened for me and what I awoke feeling today was how I handle that emotional for lack of a better word " Garbage"
I will tell you how I used to handle it, and I will be brutally honest as I awoke thinking about this, and thinking not craving, which is part of my successful feeling today." 2 Big Macs , Large Fries, Super sized." $17.03 Worth of Chinese food off the lunch menu at my favorite chinese place, that is usually one luncheon plate with two appetizers and extra duck sauce, Large Sub with Fries, if morning , 2 Bacon egg and cheese biscuits and three hashbrowns, yes McDonalds was my friend. That is a sample, as their were nights that before I went to bed, I would have a sleeve of oreos and a cup or two of milk, a pint of Ben and Jerrys, the list goes on.
Somewhere along the journey that started last year, stringing one day and another and another together, this has changed, I no longer even know if McDonalds, super sizes. I cringe when I think of the calorie count and now I wonder about the sodium count, but what I do not wonder about is what changed.
I changed, it can be done and it can continue and yesterday was my affirmation of that, I realize that I get it, and when I do crave those foods and sometimes I do, Chips and Dip was calling me yesterday, I could almost taste it that is how vivid that craving was, but what I realized was that craving was also an indication to me that I needed to listen to what I needed, I was craving something and what it was, was rest, take care of me time, as someone said in a comment on my blog, rejuvenate. Instead of eating and I took time for me, did what I do to make me feel better, and when all of that still left me feeling better but not good, I rested, shut off all the electronic devices that would distract me from taking care of me and rested.
While lying there thinking about what I used to do, and my eating I also thought about what I wanted from today, a good workout at the gym, fresh pineapple, read blogs for inspiration as they always inspire me.
" I wished I could bottle this" if I could I would pass it out to everyone and save some for myself for when the feeling hits again as I am sure it will but for today I am just going to feel the warmth of it and soldier on.

Turned the heat up to 70!

I am tired and cold, emotionally exhausted from yesterdays news about my friend's heart attack, babysat my granddaughter all day today and took care of some medical issues of my moms. I feel like I have an emotional hangover. Tonight I need to take care of me.
I took a trip to my favorite place to visit when I feel this way, and that is the local animal shelter. I have two cats here at home, both adopted from that shelter and they give me a lot of comfort, companionship and love and in return they live a good life!
This particular shelter has two rooms where cats who get along can roam free and than of course rows of cats in cages all with their ages and stories. I immediately saw a chair in one of the rooms where the cats roam free and found a friend, a big orange tabby who looked like he owned the place! He came over and sat on my lap for awhile and I could feel myself relax and feel better. I know some people might think it is depressing to go there especially when I have no intent on adopting, but I feel like the cats are so happy to have someone come and spend time with them and the patting of them and socializing with them makes me feel better and gives them some attention that they may otherwise not get. I left relaxed but still cold.
I am home alone tonight and I really should have gone to the gym, but I can not convince myself to go out again, so instead I decided I can turn the heat up to 70, just for a few hours and feel snugly warm, eat a truffle from the candy my Valentine got me yesterday and just chill. Tomorrow is another day and the gym will be there and if I after tonight, treating myself well, I am sure I will be in a much better place and I will make it to the gym cold and all.. I am also going shopping tomorrow, despite the fact that it is sooo cold and we are still in Winter, Spring and Summer items are at the stores and I am shopping for a New Beach Chair and a New Bathing Suit.....now that will get me to the gym!!!
Thanks for listening............