" Are you Kidding me??!!!"

So when I got on the scale this morning, " Are you Kidding me??!!!" escaped my lips, loudly. It was not because I had hit onderland as my goal has been and will continue to be for awhile. Nope, it is because in one week I gained 5 Pounds, add that to last weeks 1 Pounds and now we are at up 6!!
You might ask who gains 5 pounds in week, or maybe not as you all like me have been on this weight loss journey and know that it can and does happen.
I am not as shocked as I am disappointed and not with myself as much as you might think as I have been feeling good about my joureny and my progress and I know that a lot of the numbers on the scale are just out of my control at times. I need to own some of the gain and I need to just accept some as monthly fluctuations and the joys of woman hood, as the girls are very sore and that tells me that not only are they filling out my bras better but they are holding some fluid that might otherwise double as false advertising for DBF.
Some of the gain is I am struggling to drink my water, here is the reason, I drink my water warm especially in the winter as just the act of drinking cold water makes me cold and I hate being cold.I drink most of my water in the car, back and forth from errands and taking care of my mom and for that reason I always keep bottled water in my car, a case and you know what it is there know, frozen solid. On my counter in the kitchen I keep a picture of water with a Brita Picture and that too has been neglected as I am keeping the house cooler ( price of oil) and it sits next to the coffee maker, I will always pick warm coffee and hot tea.
Problem number two, is salt. Love salt and like and it loves me, I have had a lot of popcorn this week, within my points but clearly with too much salt. The only good news about my salt habit is as of late I have noticed it and thought, this tastes salty or even too salty, and that is happening more often than not. Coming from a family if cardiac history with a tendency to retain fluid, sadly it is time to attempt to kick the salt habit.
Now I know some of this gain is clearly too much of something else too, and I will look over my tracker and find some things I can cut back on and get my water in, and as much as I am disappointed, I am not derailed as here is what I know, I look good. I feel good, and I have lost over 50 pounds and this is a setback and that is all.
When I look in the mirror I see the changes, when I see friends and family they are quick to ask about my weight loss. When I shovel for two hours I remember that last year I was incapable of the same effort and most importantly I know this is a journey and challenges are made to be met.
Mr Salt, you and I need to stop seeing so much of each other, I will miss you but I am sure you will find some one else and hopefully she will treat you as well as I have, but please let's break off our relationship slowly....

Long Day, Tired with a side of Gratitude 2/4/11

In my goal to blog once a day, here is my second attempt. My first attempt was this morning, as usually that is the best time for me, I was interrupted by my sister whom is very ill and on a Liver transplant list. She needed a ride to the hospital and that is where I spent the remainder of my day.
She has a gallbladder problem and for you and I that may be a quick fix, maybe surgery, maybe blast the dang stones, but for her it can be a life threatening situation, for that matter so can a cold.
We got through the day and she will most likely be there over the weekend while her transplant team decides the best course of action.
I am tired, tired from sitting in a chair and watching others do their work to make my sister comfortable and feel better. It is an emotional tired, as I know at any day one of these trips could be her last, it is tired from pretending to be strong when I sometimes feel very weak and small.
Today was also a day that was riddled with laughs and stories, those times when you wait in between tests, and IV's being hooked up that you break the silence of the remember when stories.
I am also full of gratitude, as I was able to drop what I was doing ( blogging today) and be there for her, grateful that this emergency is being handled and she will most likely return home and continue to wait for a Liver. Grateful that I have my health and a plan to just make that health improve daily, grateful that I am not craving a cookie to ease the pain and grateful that I have a group of friends here to share the good and the bad and sometimes the ugly, Thank You!

Sharing a Picture of my Sister, she has the best laugh I have ever heard, looking at this picture, I can almost hear it!!

Respite 2/4/11

The sun is out and the landscape looks beautiful and after all the snow and feeling cooped up I am taking a respite. I am not listening to weather reports, I am sticking my fingers in my ears when others discuss any upcoming storms and I am enjoying the day!
My phone has been placed on silent and the TV is not coming on, I just need to shut out the noise for awhile.
The gym will see me this afternoon and I will use the arc trainer that I tried the other day, but in all the hub bub of weather and such I forgot to blog about it. I had been hesitant to go back to the gym after a weeks absence. I had had a bad experience with a an over zealous training company and I just felt a little defeated. The self doubt of whether I was exercising right was there and even though I gathered support from all of my friends here and on chat boards I was still feeling uncomfortable.
Last week I pushed through that discomfort and just walked into the gym, changed out of my boots and walked over to an Arc trainer and got on and started moving! I resisted the urge to get off and go see my familiar friend the treadmill, I will visit the treadmill again but this visit and the next few are about making myself push past my comfort zone, and that I did.
My arms are very sore from shoveling as the snow banks are so high that I have to throw the snow up a few feet and that incorporates different muscles. Part of my respite will be a visit to the steam room after my work out, a treat to my sore muscles and a breath of fresh air for my dry skin.
Yesterday I made a nice chicken barley soup and that will be my meals with a nice salad on the side. A day for me, a reminder to myself if I do not take care of me, who will?
I wish everyone a day for themselves!
I love this picture from my local news channel...taken before the addition foot of snow fell...and before any more comes, but those thoughts are for tomorrow!

Even the Best Laid Plans Can Change,,,Adapt!

Yesterday I had planned to get all my errands done before the snow started. I had done my homework, listened to the weather and knew I had three good hours before the snow would start. I wrote a grocery list that included healthy choices. I had an appointment three towns away and as I headed out he door I saw that the snow had prematurely started.
I did my usual dust off the windshield with my mitten covered hand as it seems this year in between all the snow storms we always wake up to a " Dusting" on the car and ground.
I went to my appointment and had to park half a mile away as the parking everywhere is atrocious, there is truly no place to put all this snow, and parking lots are being swallowed up by gigantic banks of snow that is encrusted in ice. Roads that used to serve as just roads are now covered with cars parked along the sides, makeshift parking spots. When I finally reached my destination after walking half a mile in the street as even the sidewalks at most places are the resting spot for snow that we have no idea what to do with, I was a little late. When I exited the building an hour later the snow was falling in grand style! My first instinct is familiar to these days, I curse the Weather Men!! " You Said afternoon!! It is Still Morning!! " I am being kind and leaving a few expletives out. Those poor Weathermen, they get the curses and it is really Mother Nature, but we are too afraid these days to anger her!!
I had to get driving back through a few towns and still pick up some groceries and basically buck up and drive. So much for my plans to be and out before it all starts. I walked the half mile to my car and cleared it from the snow and embarked on the ride home, I passed a few cars off the road and than found myself behind the safety of a state plow truck, I love when that happens, and for 10 miles that is where I slowly plugged along from. In those ten miles I slipped a little hear and there and I also got the opportunity to think about the best route home, on a clear day the Highway would be the best, and I was approaching the exit, it would shave 15 miles off the commute,in this weather it instilled fear, but the back windy roads held the safety of slow purposeful driving, houses to seeks shelter if need be, fellow slow travelers who can help if need be, but my personal snow favorite, slow driving. I went for the slow driving and it was slow. I quickly feel into a routine that I was familiar with, fall more than 4 car lengths behind the car in front of me, gently steer into a slide and do not jerk the wheel in resistance, going to need to stop at a light or sign, put the car into second gear, naturally slow the vehicle do not jerk the brakes on, headed down a steep hill, second gear, than first. Do not obsess about the guy behind you, you can only control your driving, and worrying about him, distracts you. What was usually a twenty five minute drive took me and hour. When I reached five minutes from home, I took a break at the grocery store, quickly gathered the food I needed and embarked on the rest of the trip home, 5 minutes took twenty.
I need to quickly fall into a routine with my eating too, during these back to back storms as even though my plans were set, I never made it to the gym yesterday as the snow started early. The shoveling started earlier and the stress driving made me really want to eat. I came home and emptied the groceries and at 12:30 I realized I had yet to have breakfast or lunch. Brunch could have become, cheese and crackers straight from the package, icecream, even though in the freezer in one cup serving bowls, it hardly should be the first meal of the day! I decided on a healthy salad with Tuna. All day long I wanted to eat, I chose well, I fell into a OP pattern, knowing this too would pass.

My plans to make the gym feel through with the early snow, my Ap's yesterday were that of shoev eling and that is ok, today I will do better, and add in a exercise DVD.
I adapted!

Calm Before the Storm 2/1

My home office faces the front of the house and my desk is kiddie cornered between the wall and the window so I can see what is going on outside my window, and today I am looking at the calm before the storm. I live on a main street, as I have said before the snow banks are so high that getting out my driveway takes an act of courage. I gingerly ease out, honking my horn to alert traffic and try not to brace for impact as I know the injuries could be worse that way. There is no place to put the snow and and the local weathermen have upped our anticipated snowfall totals, I sit in the 20" to 24" (sigh).
As I look out the window I see my neighbor readying for work and she is putting a shovel in her car, I get that, I have been stranded in a snow bank before and tried to remove snow with my hands and my snow broom, needless to say I stayed stranded until some kind person stopped with the shovel.
We have the potential for some dangerous situations, I look outside the window and see that same neighbor has not shoveled their roof, and they have a flat roof, I have been noticing a lot of flat roofs lately and am grateful mine is not. I resist the urge to suggest they take care if that as I see approx two feet on it already and wonder if it can withstand more.
The traffic on my street is moving well, everyone doing what I plan to be doing get your errands down, and hunker down.Within the next few hours this street will be littered with cars attempting to get up the very slow long incline to get home, it is always an amazing sight, one I like to see from my window and not the tail lights ahead of me.
A few years we went through an ice storm that to me was the worst winter I recall, with the exception of the Blizzard of 78, but I was a kid than and I loved that, it was before all the worries in life concerned me, like now! That ice storm left me without power for a week, and I had pneumonia at the time and was forced to stay in my home to keep water running and make sure pipes did not freeze and my pets were kept safe. That makes this storm look like a piece of cake.
Today I am going to try to look at the upcoming storm as an opportunity to have some quiet time, cook healthy meals, try a new exercise Dvd and practice some yoga pose that I may need for the class I will be joining. I want to also quiet the feeling of impending doom I have about all the dangers as if I can do that, than surely I can apply the same skills to quiet my inner discontent about the plateau I feel I am headed for, I can see the danger but not obsess before it happens and instead be prepared and ready to handle it. I have the tools and supplies for the storm and I have the tools and supplies to get though my weight loss journey, We can do this!!
My Granddaughter is bubbling with the idea of " More Snow Storm Mimi!" I shall follow her lead.............. ( I will let you know how that goes....LOL)

Snow Angels

So the weather man has predicted another foot and a half of snow starting tomorrow afternoon into all day wed, and I am headed to the grocery store, the gym and than I have my Granddaughter for the night. I will hit the gym again tomorrow, looks like Wednesday it may be closed and than back at it again Thursday. Wednesday I will be doing a Last Chance Work out tape with Bob and Jillian and of course shoveling. Friday back to the gym before the snow flies on Saturday, astorm that the weathermen are hedging about. I have a plan, and that will help me get through this tough week.
Beef Barley Soup is on the menu, and a chili, I scratched the idea of Baked Macaroni and cheese, as I know that when the snow flies and I feel cooped up I will eat way to much of that comfort food! I was thinking I would make it for my granddaughter but I was smart enough to know that my state of mind needs to be strong to have that kind of temptation around. I like to cook though so healthy food is a better plan. I will also cook one of the oatmeal in the slow cooker recipes on this site as that will be a great comfort food.
When I logged onto my computer this morning I was greeted on Facebook with a picture of my Granddaughter, playing in the snow, she was making snow angels and it made me think, "When was the last time I did that? " When was the last time I enjoyed the snow and took the snow days as an opportunity to relax and do what I love and that is when I decided to cook some healthy meals and when I am done shoveling I will have something healthy and yummy to warm me up. We will be making snow angels here Wednesday and maybe a snowman as well. The mood in the Northeast is cranky, we are tired of the snow but that does not mean Mother Nature is going to stop delivering it, so I will take a page out of my Granddaughters book and just enjoy it, it sure beats the alternative and that is to grumble through the rest of the winter.

Tigger or Eeyore, I had a choice this morning.

I woke up this morning and when I weighed myself the scale was at the same place it was last week, and that was up a pound from the week before. A lot of things went through my head and than I decided to look at my month of January. I lost two pounds and instantly I was feeling the crazies approach. " Whats the use" I give up" and my personal favorite " It will never happen."
Right than at that moment I knew I had a choice I could be Eeyore or I could be Tigger, from my favorite childhood stories, Winnie The Pooh. .
Eeyore is my favorite amongst my beloved Winnie the Pooh characters
and he is an unbelievably loveable donkey who is dismally gloomy for almost eternity. I have been Eeyore and am not willing to play the role again. Tigger happens to be an outgoing, cheerful, competitive (in a friendly manner), fully confident of himself. Tigger is who I need to be to get to where I need to go.
I need to step up my game and not a lot, some is just adding more consistency and going back to what works. Measuring again, consistent exercise, drinking my water, all the basics.
Today the first thing I am doing is reminding myself that I have done and amazing job and two pounds in a month is a lot better than the weight I was gaining monthly before I turned things around. I have some really good habits in place and they did not happen by accident and what is standing out to me right now is that I have a habit of finding away to take any potential negative and turn it around.
So today, I have a new week, and a new goal and I am taking some advice from a fellow blogger/friend and that is no more number goals. I have absolutely no control of whether the scale will change from week to week, whether my body will give up a pound or if the exercising may cause a temporary gain. I can control what I do to move in a forward direction and that is where my goals will be best served.
This week, my number one goal is 5 days of exercise, shoveling is extra.... I have work out DVDS for the days that it will snow and we know it WILL Snow and I have a gym membership and I can do this!!

The Wonderful thing about Tiggers
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one.