Bottle this

When Spring comes and the weather is warm, but not hot, The Sun is shining brightly, you can hear everything coming alive, animals, birds chirping happily, plants poking through the recently thawed ground, runners are out again, and Mom's with baby carriages, it evokes a feeling. I have said and heard a hundred times, " I wish we could bottle this, and save it for a rainy or cold day." Yesterday would have been the day I opened the bottle and let all the warm happy goodness out!
When I awoke this morning to my cat poking at my face, as she is convinced that the half filled bowl of food is one step closer to starvation and she needs a new scoop at 5:45 am to start her day, I laid in bed thinking of how far I have come. Yesterday's fatigue was gone, I am feeling like I have successfully jumped a hurdle in my lifelong battle with my weight and more specifically , my emotional eating.
Yesterday I was awash with emotions for good reason, the heart attack scare of my friend topped the list, but the list is riddled with triggers, a chronically ills sister who is having a very bad few weeks, elderly mom that I care for whom can run up and down, financial woes that come with unemployment, stress of the new job and career direction, worry of how to juggle all of this and continue to take care of me. These are just a few and we all have our own lists, but what has slowly happened for me and what I awoke feeling today was how I handle that emotional for lack of a better word " Garbage"
I will tell you how I used to handle it, and I will be brutally honest as I awoke thinking about this, and thinking not craving, which is part of my successful feeling today." 2 Big Macs , Large Fries, Super sized." $17.03 Worth of Chinese food off the lunch menu at my favorite chinese place, that is usually one luncheon plate with two appetizers and extra duck sauce, Large Sub with Fries, if morning , 2 Bacon egg and cheese biscuits and three hashbrowns, yes McDonalds was my friend. That is a sample, as their were nights that before I went to bed, I would have a sleeve of oreos and a cup or two of milk, a pint of Ben and Jerrys, the list goes on.
Somewhere along the journey that started last year, stringing one day and another and another together, this has changed, I no longer even know if McDonalds, super sizes. I cringe when I think of the calorie count and now I wonder about the sodium count, but what I do not wonder about is what changed.
I changed, it can be done and it can continue and yesterday was my affirmation of that, I realize that I get it, and when I do crave those foods and sometimes I do, Chips and Dip was calling me yesterday, I could almost taste it that is how vivid that craving was, but what I realized was that craving was also an indication to me that I needed to listen to what I needed, I was craving something and what it was, was rest, take care of me time, as someone said in a comment on my blog, rejuvenate. Instead of eating and I took time for me, did what I do to make me feel better, and when all of that still left me feeling better but not good, I rested, shut off all the electronic devices that would distract me from taking care of me and rested.
While lying there thinking about what I used to do, and my eating I also thought about what I wanted from today, a good workout at the gym, fresh pineapple, read blogs for inspiration as they always inspire me.
" I wished I could bottle this" if I could I would pass it out to everyone and save some for myself for when the feeling hits again as I am sure it will but for today I am just going to feel the warmth of it and soldier on.