I feel, well...CRAZY

Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Post Image Have you ever heard the expression ? " Being in your head alone is a dangerous place to be, don't go there alone." That is where I am today. I am over thinking everything and it is 7 AM!! I am struggling to stay on program this week, and want to eat everything and a lot of it! My head is taking control of the what to not eat, but portions have gone wrong. I have two days until I weigh in officially and unofficially the scale is up. That being said I thought about changing my weigh in day and than talked myself back down from that. My thinking was it would give me a new start, reality is every bite is a new start. I moved on to I need to go to meetings as I can throw away my scale here and be forced to weigh in once a week and not let the crazy voice in my head convince me that weighing in daily does not mess with my head, bottom line, weighing in daily messes with my head.
My schedule has changed and where as my job has given me two days of great AP's the gym and my morning walk has been nonexistent. The reason is that I have my Granddaughter different times, due to job, and my Step Dad is in hospital with Pneumonia and that means I am taking care of mom more. We had the big event with the poor kitty getting hit by the car and that has created half of the eating more scenario.
The new job is great for many reasons but not without a big problem that I can not really blog about but it is real and messing with my head. Writing this all down I see why that crazy little voice is back in my head, the one that belongs to the bad lil imp on my soldier saying
" Just eat, start back on Thursday when you officially weigh in."
" Salt and sweets would help you feel better."
" Forget the gym, you work hard enough at your job"
" Nothing makes you feel better like white bread and buttah"
" Get back on the scale, maybe it changed since 10 minutes ago."
So like I said, I feel CRAZY. I need my perspective back, I will start by seeing that the gain whether it stays or goes is about portions, as the food choices have been so much better. The feeling that I may need a meeting, well that is not a bad idea, that may be the added support I need right now to make it through this hurdle as I know that is what this is a hurdle. Taking back control is what I need to do, grab the whip and smack down that crazy imp on my shoulder. I can do this, I have been doing this, and really well. No excuses today, the gym. Look for a meeting that works for a day for me, and try it, and most importantly " JUST SAY NO TO WHITE BREAD AND BUTTAH" spoken with a a thick Boston accent. Today I am officially banned from going to my head alone.

oh yeah and ...." STAY OFF THE SCALE! "